It’s been a while, but I’m back and I’m pulling out my soapbox again. This time it’s about customer service, so buckle up.
We’ve all heard the phrase “the customer is always right” and we know it’s a load of crap. Sometimes the customer is so wrong we can’t even understand them; but we have been trained to accommodate them. We suck it up, smile and do what they asked because we believe this is the way to make them happy. Not an unreasonable thought, we are in the service industry. Let’s examine this idea a little more.
To be clear, I think this is a ridiculous expectation of service professionals. It makes us feel demoralized when we are doing our best. So where did this come from? Of course I put on my research hat, I love an excuse to research, and dove into the origins.
The phrase is most often attributed to Harry Selfridge in 1905 and Cesar Ritz in 1908, department store and hotel magnates, respectively. Back then, businesses operated under “caveat emptor” (buyer beware). Businesses made what they wanted and marketed it however they liked, misleading claims included, leaving customers to fend for themselves. Selfridge and Ritz’s phrase was revolutionary because it broke from that; it gave customers some power with the intention of improving the relationship.
Sounds great, right? So how did we get to a point where customers are taking advantage of the idea? We got here because we moved from being customer centric to customer obedient. Customer centric is based in market research and considers the entire target market and industry. Customer obedient is based in satisfying individuals, without considering the impact on employees, service level, or profits.
There are a lot of articles written on the idea of “the customer is always right”; most of which agree that it has gone too far. The main problems with the current execution of this phrase is the creation of entitled customers, the potential impact on profits and the effect on employees. We have all heard customers use the phrase, or variations of it, to get what they want. There is an expectation that if something is wrong with the service, they will get something to offset it, usually free. A great example of this is in restaurants, it is common for food to be comped when a service failure has occurred and when it isn’t customers get mad, usually posting negative reviews on social media.
Giving customers comped items can affect profit margins. I’m not saying businesses should never comp things; I’m saying that businesses need to create a policy that outlines situations when this should happen and what can be offered. A lot of times a genuine apology is enough to satisfy customers.
The effect on employees is the most problematic issue, it can be demoralizing. I’ve been in situations where the customer is complaining about, or asking for, something that is not warranted and had to give it to them. Once I had an attendee show up at a conference that had not pre-paid. I quoted the on-site registration fee and he got furious saying that I had to give him the early bird rate. I explained that rate had closed a month prior and that he needed to pay the on-site fee. He accused me of cheating him and demanded to see my boss, which is absolutely his right. My boss came out and the attendee explained that he didn’t want to pay the on-site registration, instead he wanted the early bird fee. My boss agreed, the attendee gave me a smug look, and I executed the transaction. I was so mad at my boss for undercutting me, so I reminded myself it wasn’t my event and that I had done my job with the attendee. I now needed to do my job with my boss. I explained to him giving the attendee the lower rate was going to impact our profits because the fee was $200 lower. He told me that wasn’t that bad, so I continued to explain the loss of the fee was significant because now I had to make changes to the event that were not covered in the original contract and would cost us money. I also told him that by not backing me up he had given the impression that I didn’t have authority to make decisions and could be challenged. He did apologize and going forward we had a very strict policy on registration fees. I was lucky that I had a strong relationship with my boss and could have this conversation. There are businesses that do not want to have the conversation. For example, one of my first jobs was at McDonalds where “the customer is always right” was sacrosanct. I had so many customers return food that had a “problem” and we were to apologize and give them a replacement right away. That also frustrated me because customers would return burgers that had 1-2 bites left and get a new one. It frustrated me because it was clear they were taking advantage of the policy. Sometimes they would be polite, but more often they were rude, which is always difficult to deal with. When employees must do something they know isn’t right, it becomes demoralizing. This can lead to burnout, turnover, lower service quality, and more service failures; all of which is not good for business as it leads to higher personnel costs.
Here’s the thing, we haven’t actually retired “the customer is always right”. We’ve just rebranded it. In a lot of workplaces now it shows up wearing a different outfit: “yes, and” instead of “no”.
You can watch both versions collide in real time if you rewatch the Fyre Festival documentaries (and I know most of you have, and got as mad as I did). The vendors weren’t just being customer-obedient to Billy McFarland’s every demand, they were also operating inside a “yes, and” culture that never left room for anyone to say “this cannot be done”. One of my favourite parts is when the “event professionals” (I use the quotation marks because they clearly were not professionals) complained about not getting paid. My opinion is that some of them shouldn’t have been paid, they should have said “no, this cannot be done” instead.
“Yes, and” comes from improv theatre, and on its own it’s a genuinely great idea. I LOVE this concept and have used it a lot in my classes and with myself to really explore ideas. I also think it can be used very effectively in the events industry; it can lead to wonderful ideas and solutions as well as collaboration amongst teams. Where I think we drop the ball is believing we can never say “no”. Sometimes an idea is a bad one, and shouldn’t be done. I see this most with risk management, there are times when the answer is “no”. We should offer the reason behind the decision and listen to ideas, but we should also be prepared to stand our ground. If you’re in a situation where someone is in danger, or where the ask is against compliance or law, you should say “no”.
High-quality service and genuinely happy customers happen when boundaries are set, not when every demand is met. My boss and I could have avoided that whole registration mess with one clear “no” and a policy to back it up. The Fyre Festival vendors could have avoided a documentary’s worth of humiliation with the same word. Employees and customers both do better when they know what to expect.
So learn to say “no”. Your team, your service quality, and honestly your own sanity will thank you. Okay, I’m getting off my soapbox. Thank you for listening.

